Louie's hand and footprints tattoos make me feel close to him

I was honoured to take photos of 15 amazing women for Baby Loss Awareness Week (9-15th October 2019) and be part of the "15 faces of baby Loss" project, in conjunction with East Herts SANDS and Hertford and Bishops Stortford Rainbows and Sunshines groups. 

On the 14th Oct 2014 I gave birth to twins at 27 weeks after going through years of fertility issues, IVF was our next step, which was in its self a emotional rollercoaster. To be told we were having twins - the most amazing thing to be told - not one bundle of joy but 2, I did not even think about premature birth; I thought the hard bit was over with. 

In time me and my husband managed to grieve for Louie with the help of family and an online dedication page the funeral company set up for us, which we can add photos and messages to him when ever we need to talk to Louie. The first year we set off a balloon with messages from all his loved ones. Writing down how we felt helped so much. Both me and my husband had Louie and Skye's hand and footprints tattoos done which makes me feel even closer to him . Skye recently started school which was another milestone that Louie wouldn't achieve. I found buying Skye uniform and getting her pack up all sorted so hard because I should have been doing all this for Louie aswell. I felt overwhelmed that Skye was the one who kept me strong and wanting to wake up everyday and she was heading off to school all day. I wondered if I would be able to cope without her? Seeing her doing so well at school has helped me so much, but I'm so wanting her brother to be standing at those school gates with her.