A Christmas Angel

This month I am sharing the stories of 15 bereaved mothers from around Hertfordshire and Essex for Baby Loss Awareness Week (9-15th October 2019) as part of the "15 Faces of Baby Loss" project, in conjunction with East Herts SANDS and Bishops Stortford and Hertford Rainbows and Sunshines groups.

Today I would like to introduce Sam and her beautiful "rainbows" Alice and Lucas.

Sam's world turned upside down over Christmas 2014 when they found out her son, who was now overdue, had died...

Memory box, blanket teddy and baby shoes

Our Christmases will never be the same

In 2014 christmas was to take on whole new meaning for our household...our first baby was on the way! We found out at 20 weeks we were expecting a boy...we were so excited, naively preparing for his arrival. We sailed through our midwife checks and his due date came and went with no sign of arrival. Then the 23rd Dec arrived...those fateful words that would shatter our dreams were uttered. Im sorry theres no heartbeat, your babies gone. I just remember breaking down in tears and ringing my mum. We went home and cried all night. I gave birth to our beautiful Son Connor Matthew at 13.14 on Christmas day 2014.

The next few weeks were a blur...we grieved crying and shouting. His ashes were scatter at Holkham to be with his nanny Mandy and the ponies. I didn't know what to do. I came across a group for bereaved parents and took the plunge. I was introduced to a now lifelong friend at a similar stage of grief to me and we spent hours and hours chatting and crying together. I went to the group and met lots of new friends and heard their stories...its so nice to have a safe haven to chat and share stories (and still is when i can make it), a lifeline to know you're not alone.

In July 2015 we found out we were pregnant with our first rainbow baby, but the excitement wasn't there, we had lost our naivety. Instead of enjoying each stage we just wanted to move to the next step, clinging onto each time we could hear the heartbeat and each set of movements, panicking if we hadnt felt much for a while, never really believing she would get here safely. Eventually after a lengthy indiction Alice was delivered safely on 19/3/16 and brought a new light into our lives. Her brother Lucas was born 21/9/2018 and our family is now complete.

We will never ever forget our first born....he is so special to us and always will be. We talk to Alice about him and always include him in our lives. Our rainbows have helped to heal us but our wounds will always be a little open and raw. Xxx

Sam, Alice and Lucas sitting on bench thinking of Connor

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12 Day Christmas Giveaway - Day 4

by Joanne Lewis • 4 December 2020

A picture of Santa and me...

12 Day Christmas Giveaway - Day 3

by Joanne Lewis • 3 December 2020

... Buy one, Get one Free*

12 Day Christmas Giveaway - Day 2

by Joanne Lewis • 2 December 2020

... a second print using the same photo for free*

12 Day Christmas Giveaway - Day 1

by Joanne Lewis • 1 December 2020

... a mounted print of a photo she's created for me*

Unbelievable Photography deals Black Friday 2020

by Joanne Lewis • 26 November 2020

I couldn't let Black Friday 2020 go by without some amazing deals for my wonderful and valued customers... I've missed you all so much this year, but have loved the few shoots I was able to squeeze in between lockdowns and Home Education. With all the optimism I can muster for next year (I am naturally a pretty positive person) I am offering some spectacular deals on vouchers for my Hertford Studio and outdoor or on-location sessions next year (packages may be given as gifts, but please confirm preferred locations around Hertfordshire and some parts of London, Cambridgeshire and Essex with me before booking).